You cannot judge a book by its cover. That may be a phrase that we have heard but for most people it’s hard to live by, especially when it comes to thoughts about other people. First , we should not be judging others. Biblically, take the beam out of our own eyes before worrying about the splinter in the eye of another. However I do understand, somewhat. Differences amongst people may bring about fear. Rather than becoming compassionate and caring we often become combative and cruel. We did not get control of how our genetic makeup came about. Whether a condition from birth, acquired, or from an accident has occurred, the person affected did not get that way by choice.  Understanding can come with knowledge so rather than a rude stare, or even worse a quick turn away if interested smile, connect and say hello.  The smile is free and can be a great start to opening a conversation. You may get a smile in return and if not then don’t take it personally. This is not the first stranger encounter and many meetings may not have gone well. So give it time and continue smiling. Rather than have an encounter where the person may feel stigmatized, rise above any feelings of fear or detachment. Remember we are all more alike than we are different. We all have bones, skin, hair, blood, etc. All of those similarities also have differences. Those differences bring about the presence of so much beauty and joy in the world if only we take the time to truly look within at something else that we all have in common: a heart.

If on the receiving end of the stigma , stay strong. In my situation, the illness I have been diagnosed with since birth is not visible to others. Sickle Cell Disease (SCD), is a rare genetic blood disorder. My blood is different and all the areas of my body that needs blood has been affected. I’m often in pain and need high level of narcotics just to function daily. So when others see me do things that handicapped people do( use a cane chair, disabled fare, or seating I often get the questioning gaze. On the other hand, those that know of my condition often question my plans, how or why do you want to do that, you have SCD. Either way I have to remain strong and know that I am the one that must continue to be in charge of my peace and joy. Stigma can be very hurtful and isn’t called for by any means.

Remember that you are special and can keep your joy and peace. Do not give away your joy because that will give way to pain. The person that is ignorantly imposing on your feelings in a negative way is not being nice, may actually be bullying you. You cannot control how others act you can only control how you respond to the situation. You can be the bigger person and choose to help educate, or just ignore. There are always going to be people in the world that choose to be mean. Rise above and know that you can keep a good heart but ignorance of others is a hard trait to undo. Hold on to your inner strength and do not give away the greatest that makes you who you are. Do what brings you happiness and helps give you strength. There’s only one you and you are very special, whether or not others want to see just how special you are.