One of my New Year’s resolutions was to lose a bunch of weight. Well, we all know how these resolutions tend to go!

I used to be so thin, like all the Barbies… And then it turned out that the only med that really helps my depression happened to be an antipsychotic. I don’t know if you know much about antipsychotics, but they have a TON of side effects, and one of them is often weight gain. In fact, one of the reasons a lot of people don’t take their antipsychotics is because of these side effects.

So I tried other medications to see if they would help my depression instead of this one with all the side effects.

Nope.

Some of the meds left me dangerously depressed. So I decided to live with the side effects so I could have better quality of life and be less depressed.

I hated my figure in the mirror. But I hung up word art that told me I was gorgeous and beautiful, and I tried to tell myself that.

I don’t know what it was, but somehow I stopped hating myself in the mirror. The hate was replaced with “radical acceptance,” as Dialectical Behavior Therapy would say.

I decided that I would just try to maintain this weight, maybe lose a few pounds to have some wiggle room, but that I am beautiful the way I am.

**I’m not saying that people shouldn’t make lifestyle changes or that I won’t hate my figure in the future. I’m just saying that for right now, I’m personally okay with where I am.**

I decided to give myself grace and to remember all the things that I’m facing everyday: chronic fatigue syndrome, trying to pace myself, depression, feeling overwhelmed, fighting against the lies that OCD and BPD tell me, dealing with the social aspects of autism….. And the list goes on. So for right now, I don’t need one more thing to deal with. I can live with my uniqueness and use it to have empathy for others… And for myself.

*Picture is of one of my “nephews” and I twinning. ?