It’s difficult, especially for people with BPD, to have lots of changes. For me, it’s because there’s so much uncertainty, which creates anxiety because there’s unknowns. I realize this sounds like circular reasoning, but that’s how anxiety is– it hay comes back and back and back with a new worry every single time.
I have had a change in my relationship status, a change in my plan to get a service dog (to wait a lot longer), changes in my friendships, a new job to look forward to (and dread), and I’m overwhelmed with it all.
What does DEPRESSION overwhelm look like? It looks like not keeping up with the dishes or the laundry, laying around during the day, feeling nothing or feeling everything without processing it in a healthy way…
That’s a picture of my life. This is why I’m raising money for the service dog. This is why the world seems dark to me sometimes.
But like a therapist told me, this feeling will not last forever. It’s not possible for me to feel this exact same way for the rest of my life. “God’s mercies are new every morning. ” So I’m waiting for morning, when life looks a little brighter and I can fight a little stronger.