Feeling Seen

I am the type of person who likes staying up late at night and waking up late during the day. It’s just the liveliness of staying out late, which is what I love the most. People do not quite understand why I get so tired during the day if I get 8-10 hours of sleep. I take a medication called Melatonin, which helps me to sleep. Overall, I like dreaming and sleeping. I wish people would understand that it’s not depression. I love sleeping in late and going out whenever I’m in the mood. I think it is a phase of my life right now.

Before I was forced into a treatment center in Tennessee, I went to two other detox treatment centers. One was called Transcend and the other, Dwell. They were both awful. I absolutely hated both places because they involved a lot of group therapy, which I feel I did not need then. The treatment program in Tennessee last year was a situation that I thoroughly disagreed with. I was at the program for about 4 months and while I found it to be helpful through Halloween, I thought it went on way too long by the time it was Thanksgiving. I am not sure if my family was just listening to the doctors during that time, but I feel like everyone involved was wrong about me, and I think I was just on the wrong medications. My medications made me feel very tired and it took a lot of time to make adjustments and get my energy levels right.

Overall, I am made to do a lot of things that I simply do not care for. While I believe some things planned during the week are worthwhile, I think that I deserve independence and freedom over my schedule.



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