My Grandpa died last week.

It didn’t really hit me at first. But then someone made a request of me and I just started bawling. It probably wasn’t about the request. I was probably grieving.

Then, the next day, I had a wonderful outing with my parents and my dog, and I was happy. I got home, and nothing in particular happened, and I got so depressed that I felt like a worthless, horrible human being.

These events seemed random, but I believe they were at least partially about losing my grandpa. Maybe my brain was protecting me (unsuccessfully) from feeling too much emotion all at once or something.

I’ve definitely been more triggered lately. I keep feeling like people don’t like me and like I’m a failure. I’ve been forgetful and having worse brain fog.

I’m thankful for supportive people during this time.