What does a BPD mood swing feel like?– there’s a lot to it!

By: Rachel

I have given someone a BPD brochure and told several people why this month is special. It seems fitting somehow that I’d have more mood swings and depression this month. I can tell you what they feel like. A mood swing is when you’re so excited because the world is rosy, and you have friends, and you’re planning fun activities; and 5 minutes later when one of those activities falls through or when some of your friends say they can’t hang out you start to wonder if you did something to annoy those friends and if those friends are about to abandon you. You realize your plans don’t work out that much,  and you start to believe nothing you do is worthwhile. Then,  10 minutes after that,  you feel angry either at yourself or the friends, depending on how your BPD presents itself, and you either send an angry text or cancel the rest of your plans,  and you isolate yourself, and you feel worse and worse. And the depression is right there, making every lie believable and every hurt magnified and every past wound or trauma come back to the front of your mind. That’s a mood swing with depression,  and it’s pretty common for this to happen with BPD. Just for a moment,  imagine how much every it takes to fight that everyday and how much discouragement it causes when you don’t even realize BPD is lying to you, and you actually believe you’re worthless. I know I get clingy sometimes,  and I know I “check” if people are mad at me too much,  but this is why. Before we judge someone’s behavior,  let’s try to understand it. 

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